Thursday, March 29, 2007

Now they're all crawling out of the woodwork...

You often know you are winning when the real fruitcakes crawl out of the woodwork with monumentally stupid ideas at exactly the wrong moment (or right depending upon your POV).

Over the last couple of weeks in 2 local newspapers, we've been subjected to the delusional ramblings of one Andrew Byford (self-proclaimed Clerk to Derwent and Hope Woodlands Parish Meeting). He even managed to get his ruddy cheeks (those of his face, luckily - but can his arse look any worse one wonders?) onto the front page of the Glossop Advertiser.

Not content with the Highways Agency's plans to encroach onto a National Park, he is calling for a wholesale onslaught deeper into the Peak - a Glossop Bypass no less.

In his defence, he says he was born here, and 'loves the area', although no doubt he loves it in the same way a very lonely farmer does his sheep. This probably explains his fascination with 'burrowing tunnels' and the like.

One can only imagine how Herr Oldham and his evil Pixies are mightily displeased at Andrew jumping the gun and revealing their plans for Tameside's Sudetenland.

I could write a lot more about Mr B's flights of fancy, but his lowest point was when he gave away the address of an anti-bypass campaigner in his letter to the Glossop Chronicle, though admittedly, David Jones was a cretin for allowing it to be published. If we find his full address, we'll promise to publish it here, and then everyone can go and check out his house, which is no doubt made from Gingerbread. In the meantime, he lives somwhere on Snake Road...

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